The Gift of Mullet

I remember it well.  It was 1989, my sophomore year in college and all was fantastic.  My mullet was coming in nicely, my tiny gold hoop earring would sometimes catch the light and sparkle its ass off.  I was a master at cuffing my acid washed jeans and I could roll up the sleeves on my striped pastel shirts like a madman!    I was also involved with the campus  radio station WCCB... "involved" doesn't really sum it up.  I became obsessed.  I loved it.  I got elected to the board of directors my freshman year (an honor usually bestowed on upperclassmen) and the result of that was the campus newspaper, The Clarion Call, did a write up on me.  I really have no idea why...

So I show up for my "photo shoot" all pastel'd and mullet'd up when the photographer suggested me posing with the teddy bear.  It was the Christmas issue after all.  Well it really seemed like a good idea at the time...  As you can imagine there was some mocking.  My friends and total strangers took to calling me "Teddy Bear" for a while but, ultimately it passed and was forgotten.

Then MANY years later I show it to my friend and bandmate Marti.  I don't remember exactly how long she laughed but it was quite a while.  Understandably so.  It is awesome.  

So Marti, this is for you.  May it make you smile whenever you need it. 

    

I'm a Merry Christmas guy, but may the season find you healthy and happy!

Top Ten Things About Being Sick

I don't know if there can be anything "top" about being sick... but it does have its benefits.  Yes, by the way, I am currently enjoying Flu like symptoms...  I am only talking about the inconvenient kind of sick.  Colds, sniffles and flu type, over the counter medicine, 24-48 bug kind of sick.  Pain in my ass kind of sick...  which brings us to number ten.

10)  Being a pain in the ASS:  everyone is allowed a 48 hour window to be cranky when your illness de jour settles in.  Be it a summer cold or my annual February sinus infection, it's ok to say things like "do you mind going to the store and getting me something that I won't find nauseating to eat?  Even though I'm really not hungry, more bored than anything, and I have no idea what I might even want to eat if I were hungry... Oh and  magazine too!  Something that will interest me..."  Yeah, you have minimum 24 hrs, maximum 48hrs to say ridiculous things like that.  Enjoy.

9)  Sleep your ass off:  Most people are under rested.  Hold on, let me Google it...  Ha!  If you Google: "US population under rested"  you get several articles on the US penitentiary system.  Funny.  Anyway, it is a loose figure but somewhere around 70%  of us is estimated to be sleep deprived. So sleep!  For the next 36 hrs sleep  as much as you can!  Several studies suggest it's probably the reason you are sick in the first place.  Hit the snooze button, it's good for you.

8)  Read an actual book: It really goes hand in hand with step 9.  When not sleeping, read one of those books you keep stacking up on your dresser in your bedroom.  We are not that far away from books and newspapers going the way of the walkman.  Enjoy a book while you still can.  Your Kindle/Nook/tablet can wait.

7)  Drop a few pounds:  Nothing will lift my spirits like stepping on the scale and seeing a slightly less me has survived the fever breaking sweat naps I've been taking.  Yay!  Thinner...

6)  NetFlix Online:  It's really quite awesome.  Watch wretched one star movies to your hearts content.  Better than the endless loop of Sports Center or Two and a Half Men (that darn Charlie Harper!)  Also a ton of great documentaries and decent new releases and old classics.  Also you can do headphones so you don't interrupt anyone else's  viewing schedule.  Seriously.  It kicks ass.

5)  Let yourself go:  Shower?  I don't need no stinking shower!  The non shaving/non bathing routine of illness is kinda awesome.  You already feel bad, you might as well smell bad! The unknown benefit is on day three when you have to re-enter society and you clean up and take a shower you feel AMAZING!  At least for a bit...

4)  Watch TV mindlessly:  Clean out the ol' DVR or watch all those movies that you have been meaning to get back to your friend who loaned them to you but it will be awkward when they ask if you liked them and you didn't really watch them.  Really anything to just waste the time until your immune system kicks in and gets you back up and running.

3)  Eat whatever:  Cheese popcorn and ginger ale currently tickling your fancy?  Dig in!  Diets don't apply when you are sick. Which is cool!  However, you really can't exploit this either (currently the thought of a Sausage/Pep with a side of Krispy Kremes sounds disgusting and as you both know that is not usually the case!)   You just want what you want.  Try to have fun with it.

2)  Busy work:  This is really a nice thing.  You can come out of your illness completely caught up on emails and other things procrastinated.  It goes well with that shower on day three!

And finally.... Number One is:  Track Suits

I have wanted a track suit for years but never purchased on for myself.  Little Fun Fact:  We tried to get custom matching track suits written into one of our record deals.  We thought it would be cool.  They didn't.  I did however get, not one, but two track suits a few Christmases ago.  They are everything I had hoped they would be.  In all honesty I don't wear the suits as a set all that often.  When I do, I feel like Tony Soprano (the lead Character from HBO's "the Sopranos") and I will also wear the whole set on special occasions like Christmas morning or New Year's Day.  You feel real classy!  I had not, however, worn my track suit while under the weather.  Much better than flannel pj's or sweat pants.  Plus they feel silky on your skin!

Feel better everybody and load up on vitamin C!

Can you make that out of gold?

Well my "30 BLOGS in 30 DAYS" campaign kinda lost it's way, came off the tracks, took a wrong turn and any other cliche that you deem fitting.  This whole endeavor has been a tremendous learning experience and an excellent experiment.  I have, through blind stumbling around and trial and error, determined what I would like to change and ultimately do with this blog.  A few days ago I went back and reread all of my posts and there were some I actually liked and some that were crap.  Well lady and gentleman, we here at the Can I Get That Covered In Gravy HQ have heard you and our mission is to make your valuable time spent here, reading these babbling's of a mad man, MORE BETTER.   I will probably coast through the holiday season then start making improvements and revamps in the new year.

One of the things that will definitely make it in the new improved CIGTCIG 2.0 is the addition of what music I am or am not listening to.... am not... amn't?.. nope doesn't work... anyway today it is the newly released Fractured Love by Jordan Rast.  I really hate Jordan in a lot of ways.  Naaaa... Hate is too strong.  I am jealous though.  He's a great singer and song writer.  I mean REALLY great.  He's young... too young to be on his THIRD original release! I've never met him but have heard nothing but awesome things about him.  Sigh... He probably rescues kittens.  Kitten rescuing aside, his record is very good and I'm currently trying to coerce him into playing on my next record.  If you haven't figured out my subtle hints check out his record and support an "indie."  It's good for you!

http://www.woodstovehouse.com/jordan-rast-fractured-love/

if "anyone" has a better link to Jordan's record please leave it in the comments.  Thanks!

I don't listen to much music when I drive.  Strange for a guy who has made his living with music over the last several years, I know, but it's true.  It doesn't help the cause that my daily driver is not radio friendly.  It's loud and rumbly so I find other ways to occupy my time on long drives.  One is... jeez... I'm not sure I should let this one out of the box.  Eh...

Ok.  I give interviews.  To no one.  I don't talk to myself.  I talk to the person "interviewing" me.  Wow. That seems crazy.  Maybe that is why I really like talk radio.  Those guys are just talking to themselves.  Hell this blog (and other peoples I'm sure!) is just me writing down my internal dialog.  I don't know maybe I'm just rationalizing now....  Well the reason I brought this up was to talk about Chris Gaines.

I always thought it would be hilarious, in an interview, to sight him as a musical inspiration but never did (I have been interviewed before and did well due to all my practice!) for fear of pissing off Garth Brooks.  You see, if you didn't know Chris Gaines was the fictitious alter ego created by Garth Brooks to explore his rock aspirations... or something like that.

At the time it was suspected that GB had LOST his mind.  In truth I think he was just bored.  He did the Gaines record when he was on top of the world and had nothing but money to burn.  I believe he still keeps his house warm burning bundles of hundred dollar bills.  My mind can not comprehend the kind of money he has.  Buy a country money.  So maybe, in his shoes I would have done something dumb like dress up like a pretend rock star and put out a record.  I would have done something probably even more stupid.

Do they make toilets out of gold?

Writing is Hard!

I know, I know... I pledged an oath to all of you that I would valiantly blog everyday for 30 days and become more better!  Well I have blogged a lot.  Not everyday though...

It seems I am not comfortable with just typing some words and calling it done.  I feel it is my responsibility to give you the best writing I can and hurrying something down just to get it down wasn't sitting well with me.  So I will continue to attempt the everyday blog knowing full well it may be more than my 17 words a minute can handle BUT I shall do my best to make it worth your while kind reader!

Giving Back

Woosh!  This weekend flew by and I didn't get near the ol' laptop to get my daily chores done but that's ok.  You both forgive me right?

I am SUPER excited for tomorrow.  It's day one of my volunteer training for the American Red Cross.  I get to use my skills in transportaionizing (driving) for the good guys!  I will go into all the details tomorrow for all y'all.  until then I gots to get my but in bed!

Night!

Well that was stupid!

Thanksgiving was, as usual, an exercise in gluttony for me.  More gravy?  Are you kidding?  That's my blog name!!!  Sigh...  I'm so clever.  So this morning I get up nice and early to get some stuff done and even do a little bit of shopping but then out of the blue, for some unknown reason, I decide to get on the scale.  The day after Thanksgiving.  GENIUS.

I don't want to boil down all this years accomplishments into one moment.  The moment that cold unfeeling machine unceremoniously spit that dreadfully high number at me?  Yeah.  That moment.  So to counter my feelings of failure I decided to run through some of the changes with me and my life since last March (or was it February?  Doesn't matter.)

I stopped feeling sorry for myself and uninvited myself to the pity party.  I made myself accountable for all things I didn't like about myself.

I started and maintained a regular running schedule, ran several races (I think six) AND actually competed in a few of them!  Don't get me wrong I wasn't in the running (pun intended) for an actual victory.  I just put up a respectable time for two of the races and I was proud of that.

I stopped smoking.  I have said this before but I really never thought I would quit.  Just didn't see it happening.... but it did and I am pleased it did.

Kept this blog going.  I didn't thing that would happen either.  I figured I would get bored with it and stop doing it.  Which I did!  But I missed it. So here I am, still typing away.

Overall, that's is not too bad!  Several life changes and some diligence.  Definitely a whole bunch of steps in the right direction.

The wrong direction, though, is looming all big and bad in front of me.  I got some blood work done and  my cholesterol is a tad wonky.  The good stuff a little too low and the bad stuff a little too high.  Nothing terrible by any means but add that on top of an ever expanding gut and we've got the beginning of a big problem.

I've noticed that my "loose jeans", track pants and cargo shorts have been trending for wardrobe choices so it was no real surprise that my weight was up.  Just  didn't quite expect it that UP.  It's ok though.  Nothing that can't be fixed.  It's just time to fix it though.

Fat Man Strikes Back.

Run Josh, Run!

We have an annual event here at our household.  It's the Columbus Turkey Trot.  We've done about a half dozen or so and we actually look forward to it.  It's a "guilt free" Thanksgiving dinner and that's a good thing for a habitual over eater such as myself!

The "race" is a five miler.  A five K would be more to my liking really but the extra 2 miles gives more to the guilt free-ness.  I say "race" because we're never really in it.  There are lot's of people who do treat it like a race and just fly around the course.  Not us!  We run the first mile or so then just walk it out.  Good fun.

The thing that gets me every year is the turn out.  It has to be 5,000 people.  People are all over the place!  You can't get a parking spot anywhere near the place.  (Although this year driving the jeep, I got a parking spot where no one else could park so that was cool!)  It is at the crack of dawn (ok 9am!) and it's usually cold (Thanksgiving?  November?  It was cold?  Really?) I  just can't figure out why everyone does it... but then I realize I do it every year for the same unknown reason.  Sure it's nice to get a decent start to the day but for anyone cooking or traveling that's a busy morning.  Also it's not free.  So to recap:  It's crowded, cold, inconvenient, expensive, too long and too early.  So why do it?  Tradition I guess...

So.... Josh.  One of the great things and actually the real reason we do these races, is the people watching!  It is all walks of life all level of fitness and it is just a blast getting to know the people around you.  Every year we have a few stand out characters that make our whole race.  This year the winner was young Josh.

At a bout mile 3 we came up on Josh and his brother and mother.  We learned his name because his mother kept yelling it.  "Joshy Joshy Poshy Washy Josh!"  Josh was by our best estimate 4 years old and adorable and couldn't have less of an interest in "running" this fine brisk morning.  We never really met Josh.  Instead we created a dialog for him cursing his turquoise spandexed mother.  He would lag behind, go off the track, pick up a rock, get yelled at then run back up cursing his mother the whole way.    Good luck Josh.  I think you're gonna need it.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.  

More Smarter!

I really have a fear of technology and specifically computers.  I bore witness to computers.  I watched them crawl out of the primordial ooze of prehistoric technology as crappy typewriters.

 You see kids, a "type writer" was the keyboard part of your laptop.  It had no screen, you couldn't change the font and it weighed about 75lbs.  Having one didn't "make you cool."  It did come with a big plastic suitcase to lug it around, so that made it really convenient to go to the coffee shop.  Oh that's right... there were no coffee shops!  They were called diners and you paid fifty cents for a cup of java.  no frills, just bean juice.  Mmmmmm......dee-lish!

When I was in college I saw my first computer with a mouse.  It blew my mind!  We (my college cohorts and I) would go to the "computer lab" and just move the mouse and watch the little arrow move around.  For hours... I'm almost embarrassed to share that.  Almost!  The thing was, is you just knew you were looking at the future.  The whole possibility of SKYNET* or HAL* becoming self aware and attempting to either replace or completely eliminate mankind now became plausible.  I am not suggesting that it's time to build bunkers and prepare for the "Rise of the Machines" (or some other cool catch phrase name)  but it really was the beginning of a whole new era.  This new era and I have not exactly seen eye to eye over the last 20 years.  I have really just come to terms with "computers" and them NOT being a fad or trend...  Yet another thing this blog has helped me with.

 Longtime readers may have noticed the use of italics in this blog.  Something I would have NEVER attempted a year ago.  TOO SCARY!  I don't know if I have used it correctly but I did it and I didn't even have to ask for help!

Onward and upward.


*SKYNET was the computer in the Terminator movies that waged war with mankind.
*HAL was the computer who became self-aware in the movie 2001: a Space Odyssey and  took over the ship.

the more I eat the more I eat and other such phenomenons

I sometimes think I have the digestive system of a competitive eater.  I don't mean that in any kind of positive way at all.  I try to outwit my gut by having a "hearty" breakfast.  My gut responds by saying "Let's get a huge lunch too then we can skip dinner!"  I can almost hear it snickering at me when it pulls these shenanigans... Because it doesn't work and it knew it the whole time!  I call bullshit.  The other thing is I can go all day and not really eat and be totally fine then eat a large but not ridiculous dinner and be cool for the day.  Weird.  I stumbled upon (actually stumbled not the web browser/search engine thingy) an article on temporary/conditional fasting.  Basically you can only eat a certain number of hours each day.  Like noon to 6pm.  I kinda do that anyway and I'm kinda fat so... looks like I've already disproved that one!

I know a lot of blog type folks also put what they are listening to when they enlighten the world, so I too shall share my musical whimsy with you!  Tonight it was the Green Album.  A selection of tunes from the Muppet Show and movies covered by contemporary artists.  Some are weird, some are pretty much the same and some are pretty cool.  I'll give it 3 outta 5 BuzzPoints.

keep your eyes open

I ended my blog yesterday saying i would try to catch Halley's comet next time.  That would be 2061... that's still a ways off and who knows if any of us will still be here let alone me!   I mean 2012 is right around the corner!  But I digress...

The original last sentence of yesterdays blog was this, "I never got to see Halley's comet and it is one of my biggest regrets of my misspent youth."  I don't edit a lot  or do a bunch of drafts (obviously!)  my usual method is write it, read it, fix a couple glaring errors then post it.  The "biggest regret" thing seemed a little too dramatic... i mean really?  Biggest regret?  So I cut it out.  Then it kind of bugged me all day that I never got to see it.  Then it started to bug me about the other things in  my life I could have seen but did not.
---------------------------
*EDITOR'S NOTE*

What you just read I wrote yesterday during the day then came home from a gig late last night and sat down to finish it. This is what I found when I woke up this morning.   I believe I got a little sleepy.  And hungry.
----------------------------

I'm not talking about the Grand Canyon (although I've never seen that either...)  but things like presidential inaugurations or Space shuttle launches.  Things that with a little effort I could have seen first hand.  I'm going to try and make an effort to do that kind of thing from now on.  I don't really know what that is but at the very least I will drive out to the the countryside the next time the weather man tells me there will be a meteor shower!  I'll even get a pizza.

I reallt dko love pizza.  I  ould eat it evry day if i was allowed.  THat and chheese burgrs.  I don't know why people like medum rar chheeseburgrs.  I thinks its gross!!!!!!  Man that guy tonight hwas crazy!  he kept starrring at me and airguutaring at me...   kinda creeeeped me out.

Ok well I gott to go to bed, I'll probbably call you tomoorrow.

*I found it this way this morning and decided not to touch it and just post it.  I have NO IDEA who i was writing to.  My best guess is my Mom because Sunday is our call day. Call ya later Ma!*

Flying cars and other such nonsense

I believe I was in 4th grade when I learned about Halley's comet.  I think what struck me the most is that was the first time I really considered the future and my place in it.  I was overwhelmed for days thinking about what life in 1986 would be like.  Now, we're only talking about a few years.  I think it was about 1980 so at ten years old I had to consider six years forward.   That was the first time in my life I didn't just live in the moment.  It really was life changing at the time.

At that point I had only considered what science fiction movies and tv shows had taught me.  Clothes in the future will be very tight.  Everyone will be very fit and trim (even though robots do all the physical labor...) Food will come out of a machine (and somehow taste delicious...) and  racism, poverty, pollution, civil rights and everything else we humans have waged war over will be put aside as we unite the entire planet against a global threat of _____!

Well I can tell you how I spent a lot of my 1986.  Watching Top Gun, learning how to drive a stick, battling acne, listening to Bon Jovi on cassette (kids, I'll explain later) and trying to get to second base.... whatever that was.

 As it turned out 1980 and 1986 really were not all that different.  That trend has continued for the entirety of my life.  A few things have changed but it's really just consumption that has changed.  Music is still music it's just on an iPod.  Books (I'll explain those too, kids) are still books they're just on a Kindle.  TV shows are still crap just on a bigger screen.

So, food out of a machine? No problem.  Flying cars?  Nope.  And what exactly is the deal with the Metric system?  Jury still out?  Are we just learning in case we travel abroad? Hmmmm?


 I never did see Halley's comet.  Maybe I'll catch it the next time around.

A gallon of milk, a loaf of bread and come home right away...

So it dawned on me as I was headed for bed that I made this "I'll post everyday" pledge YESTERDAY.  I completely forgot already...

So I think I'll just do a grocery list or something like that but noooooo.... I already shot myself in the foot saying i would not be doing grocery lists.  I have totally out witted myself.  It really isn't that hard to trick me to be honest...

 

You want ME to guest write a blog??? What???

I know I have been on again off again with the writing of the blogs.  I have gotten better with a lot of things in my life since starting this, but getting too busy is still a tough one for me.  For the both of you who read this I will make a greater effort to get you your blog damn it!

There has been an unexpected side effect to doing this.  I really like it.  A lot.  I don't know if I have what it takes to be a "writer" or anything or really how to even pursue it... maybe I don't need to worry about that and just write on a regular basis for a while and see if I get any more better.  Maybe I'll do some kind of 30 day challenge.... Hmmm.  Ok.  I accept your challenge!

I will write a post everyday for the next 30 days.  It doesn't have to be as awesome (kidding!) as my usual posts  but it must be more coherent than a grocery list.  Ok.  I like it!  Maybe I'll even work on grammar.  Say Whaaat??? Oh yeah!

So on my journey to a thinner, happier, professional writer-y me I have already gotten published!!!  No WAY!  Way!  Hard to believe.  I know!

I am proud to be associated with Wood Stove House and honored to be the featured guest blog.  Check it out:

http://www.woodstovehouse.com/5-things-i-learned-when-i-was-a-rock-star/

You didn't know i was famous did ya?

Heroes

This has been a strange football season.  First off the NFL was on strike and it looked like they would not get things together for the regular season, but they did.  Then Jim Tressel, the head coach of the Ohio State Buckeyes, who was the "straight and narrow" coach in NCAA football, was forced out of his job amid shame and scandal.  And then Penn State happened.  Joe Paterno was fired in a maelstrom of a sex scandal...

First, I have no words to describe my feelings toward what happened to those young boys.  Rage is the main one then it's a whole mess of mixed emotions and unanswered questions...

Child molestation is something that is so unthinkable, horrible and unfortunately unspeakable that it paralyses people with fear and disgust.  Because of that, the right thing isn't always done... or enough of the right thing.

This to me isn't about a football coach or about football at all.  It's about hope.  This horrible event has brought so much real attention to child molestation that maybe, just maybe, we won't be afraid to talk about it and ultimately do something about it.  Personally i think they should get the chair.

Joe Paterno was a hero to me.  I grew up in western Pennsylvania.  Not a huge PSU fan but always keeping an eye on them and Joe.  He did it "right", no compromise.  He was inspiring.  He made you want to  be a better person.  I read books about Joe and used to wish that I could someday play for him.  Never got to play for him.  Moved away from PA, to the home of Ohio State of all places, which oddly enough made me MORE of a college football fan and specifically PSU.  In the back of my mind over the last few years I have felt that Joe maybe needs to go.  I didn't want to see him die on the field.  I didn't want to see him got out like this either...

I'm not here to defend Joe.... I'm not even sure i could.  I would like to ask something all of you who take the few minutes out of your day to read my run on sentences and ramblings:  Look back on you life and think of the times you could have done more.  Remember that the next time you are in a position to do the right thing.  Try to do more of the right thing.

I did whaaaat?

So a few weeks ago i went on vacation.  We went down to the beach.  The eastern side of the north american continent beach.  The location of first flight (although i can only imagine there are as many as 75 to 80 birds who would disagree with that statement.  Maybe more) beach.  The North Carolina  barrier islands beach.  The Outer Banks.... beach!

I realize that you might think that seems like a lot of built up to say me and my sweetie drove 12 hrs to spend 10 days lounging in the surf and sun.  You'd be right.  One more thing happened on that beautiful beach.  Me and my lady got hitched.  Tied the not.  Exchanged vows.  Made it legal.... You get the gist.  I will say this.  It was awesome.  She planned it to a tee (she could work for the military!) and she was, is and always will be more beautiful  than an old rock guitar player like me should be with.  I'm a very lucky man.

We did a small beach ceremony presided over by one of my dearest friends and we were surrounded by our closest friends and our family.  It was amazing and I might have even cried.  A tiny bit.  Barely noticeable.

We just got back to our home and real life has already set in:  jobs, chores, fantasy football, DVR's and whatever else gets in the way of just enjoying life.  It's ok though.  I can take it for a little bit.  Christmas is just around the corner!

Best. Vacation. Ever.

Top Five things I learned this summer

This has been a summer of great change for me and through these changes I learned a few things.... and here I thought I knew everything already!

1.  Smoking is bad for you:

 I know, I know.... who doesn't know this?  Well.  Me, that's who!  Over the last forty years or so I have come up with the theory that if it was REALLY bad for you then it would be banned.  That it is such a heavily taxed and profitable business that the powers that be didn't want it to go anywhere and that in fact they use a smear campaign on purpose to draw people in.  Reverse psychology Jedi Mind Trick style!  I'm not UN-convinced of my theory in the slightest but after several weeks smoke free-ness.  I feel a ton better.  I didn't even realize that i felt bad!  

2. My cat is right about most things:

Shamus (my cat) has the best decision making skills on the planet.  Tired?  Sleep.  Hungry?  Eat.  Mad?  Chomp.

It seems so simple but people (at least I do... maybe you have no issues with this and I applaud your feline abilities)  have the need to complicate things.  Keep it simple.  If it needs done, do it.

3.  People stink:

I can only assume it has something to do with the no smoking and my senses have sharpened up a bit or something but HOLY SHIT!  I seriously had no idea how bad a dumpster smells or a bar for that matter!

4.  I have always hated running... and I still do:

I am getting better at it but I have yet to experience these thing runners speak of like runners highs and such.  I kinda think it's a bunch of malarky  just to convince people to run further (Jedi Mind Tricks again!) and buy more shoes... still I'm glad I'm getting into it more but I still hate it!

5. Eight hours of sleep is maybe the greatest thing in the whole world!:

If you are not getting eight or close to that try it.  it will change your life!  It's not hard.  Just go to bed.  Turn off the tv and the computer and go to bed.  Facebook will wait until tomorrow... or even the next day.

when the chips are down...

So i've been on the running wagon for about 5 weeks.  I could look it up on a calendar and get you the date but do you really have to know at this exact minute how long i've been wheezing around my neighborhood?  Also, I have fought the future as long as possible.  Stayed away from "gadget phones" and cool tech stuff.  What i'm alluding to here is I don't have a google calendar with every bowel movement and twitter post scheduled for 2 months straight.  So if you really wanted to know the date i would have to look up the Warrior Dash and reverse math it from there.  Detective work.  Old School!

Where was I even going with this.... Oh yeah!  So I also have quit smoking due to, in no small part, the training and running.  I got fed up and angry with not being able to make progress.  So I stopped.  18 days ago?   Sounds right.  Anyway, my point is i had to get out of my lazy ass comfort zone and get a little riled up and the quitting was... i almost hesitate to say it... easy.  I hope i'm not cursing myself here.  I feel motivation is the key to sticking with anything.  If i continue to run and do races and events then i'll want to keep pushing myself.  So it turns out that running might be my anti-smoking program.  Great.  Now i'll always be running somewhere...

So tonight's run (i run early morning or very late at night) brought something to the very front of my fury.  I got home from work and it's too hot (today was about a hundred degrees) to do anything so i cooled off in the pool (nice!) then had an admittedly too large dinner then took a little nap to prepare for my night's run.  I wake up ravenous and begin to systematically seek out and devour any and all salty chip or cracker in our kitchen.  Crap.  I have to run in an hour!  Take a couple tums and drink a bunch of water.  That will do the trick!  Or it will make you want to vomit for 2 of the 4 miles you ran in the hot humid bayou-esqe climate.

I got home and was mad.  Very mad.  I decided that this kind of thing is what i've been using for motivation so...   No more salty chips on any kind of regular basis.  The occasional tailgate party?  Have at it but with some restraint!  Salt is my biggest addiction.  Time to cut it loose.

I'm saying it out loud.  Chips not welcome here.

5K for fun? Oh hell no...

I've done my share of little races and 5K's and I have NEVER tried to finnish with any kind velocity or real pace.  That has never bothered me even in the slightest.  Until now.

Tomorrow morning I'm doing a 5k that i signed up for before i "transformed" into a runner and i am planing on CRUSHING it!  I mean come on!  I've already run 3 5K's this week!

This will be my first attempt at not finishing in the back of the pack.  There will be the normal front runners who will scorch the 3.2 miles then run home to continue the work out they need to get to be a considered a real run.  I used to (and apparently still do!) really dislike these guys and gals who grace the race with their presence only to then embarrass everyone (ok... me) then vanish into the misty morning clad in spandex.  I mean i really hated these people... Now i get it... at least a little bit.  I am certainly going to try and crush everyone at the charity event tomorrow.  I am my own arch enemy!  Great.

 

Day 11

I have been eleven days smoke free.  I almost can't believe it myself.  Actually no.  I can't believe it at all.  I really had decided that i would probably smoke forever in some capacity.  Now don't get me wrong, I'm not getting all cocky and bad ass saying I kicked smokings ass!  No... more like I have this plan and up until 11 days ago smoking wasn't interfering with it.  Once I realized that it was preventing me from reaching my goals i got angry.  I have been ashamed of my cigarette habit for years but it wasn't until i got mad that something was going to happen.

Spirits are high and breathing is better.  Baby steps.

... and then, out of the blue, i wanted to be a runner.

So the Warrior Dash was everything I thought it would be AND a bunch of stuff i didn't think it would be. The first thing you notice is how BIG the event was.

The first Turkey Trot we ran several years ago was the first time i realized thousands of people will show up to run a race.  I had no idea.  I mean sure, the Boston Marathon i figured would get a couple thousand runners but a 5 miler in little Columbus, Ohio on Thanksgiving Morning? (hence the Turkey Trot name)  I figured 4 maybe 5 hundred tops.  Nope.  More like 7K plus.  I was stunned and i still get surprised every year.  That is NOTHING compared to the WD.

For 2 days straight they set off 500 person heats every half hour ALL DAY.  Conservative estimate is 25k total but I could be off by half as much.

The second thing is how organized it was.  No issues with anything.  Directions?  Cake.  Parking? A breeze.  Shuttle to the event?  Every 5 minutes.  You're seeing the pattern right?   Everything was well thought out and flawlessly performed.  It was really cool and I'm glad I did it.  It will not be my last event for sure.

The unexpected thing had nothing to do with the race at all.

When I decided to do this several months ago I recruited all my friends who i thought might be up for this.  They were all IN!  except none of them did it...  but my fiance said I should ask Richard.

Richard is her best friend.  They grew up across the street together and have never "lost touch" like a lot of us do.  I know Richard but we're not really "friends."  No reason, I certainly like him enough, we just don't live very close to him and everybody has life to deal with.

Last year he was diagnosed with a brain tumor that, from what I understand, is very difficult to remove.  This is the kind of news that you have nightmares about.  I'm certain he had his "Well... my life is over, Check please."  moment or two that he had to deal with but the amazing thing is he didn't let it kill him.  Instead he got himself in shape, started running races and living life.  That's what really got to me.  That is what made me feel small and petty and... well... dumb.  He lives his life like he's going to die tomorrow where as i live mine like I'm going to live forever.  I keep the "tomorrow it will be better" mantra running through my thick skull all the time instead of making today better.  What's really so bad about today anyway?  

So a week after the Dash i started training for a half marathon.  I'm doing several things different this time.  First off, I'm actually into week 2 without and major complaints or wining.  Which is practically unheard of from me.  The really big difference is I am actually telling people about it.  Previously, I would start these grand schemes of various design and direction but never let anyone know about it.  That way when I quit, no one would give me shit about it because no one even knew.  This time I am saying it out loud.  I'm attempting a major physical feat which will require dedication and changes in my daily life.  I have certainly stumbled a lot in my first 2 weeks but I am at least seeing my mistakes and making corrections instead of excuses.  I have even started making changes in my daily eating!!!  What???  Yup.  I want to move faster... not eat more.  Weird.  Never had that happen before.

Pennsylvania tourist

It's been far too long since my last post.  I found that i wasn't writing anything of great value and for the most part just winging it... like a daily in a newspaper.  writing something clever-ish because i was supposed to, not writing for the therapy and need of something to say.  So I opted to stop for a while and see if i missed it.  Well here i am.  Missing it.

About a month ago i went back home to western Pennsylvania to spend some time with my family and recharge a bit.  I loved growing up there.  It was rural farm country surrounded by mills, refineries and coal mines.  It was also populated by the greatest people i have ever known.  Hard working honest people.  Kind of a tough find these days.  I'm sure it's not the innocent, leave you keys in your car don't lock your doors at night place i remember but in my minds eye it will always be that way.

A few days before i went home my Dad invited me to go on a fishing trip with two of his buddies.  I haven't picked up a fishing pole in.... twenty years or so but i said sure.  He got me a pole and other stuff and i headed east.  When i got there i had to go get a fishing license and it was a Pennsylvania Tourist "good for seven days" which was good knowing i wouldn't be needing another one for another twenty years or so!  So the next day we get up at some God awful hour and jump in the truck and drive about two hours north east.  on the trip we got to catch up and tell stories and have fun but to be honest i wasn't all that excited about the fishing part it was just a chance to spend time with my Dad.  We met up with his buddies, who are arguably the greatest people in the world, and get to fishing.

 Something amazing happened then.  It was 1979.  I didn't have a worry in my head.  I was just fishing with my Pop and everything was right in the world.

The fishing was great, i literally caught a fish every cast.  So many fish i almost ran out of bait!   We're catch and release people so i didn't have to gut (and not eat!) the slimy bastards either.  Which is a real plus in my book.

every once in a while i would catch my Dad watching me and i could tell it was 1979 for him too.  It was that rare smile we all so rarely get.  The one that says life is good.

A week or so later I was cleaning out my Jeep and found my PA tourist pass and it dawned on me that i don't live there anymore.  I know.  I left there in 1995.  You'd think it would have sunk in but it hadn't.

I will always refer to PA as home and i still claim my yinzer blood with pride.  I miss my family and friends.  I am glad I grew up there.... I'm also glad i left.  I get to see it with new eyes and love every time I go back.

 I know people that live on the coast that never notice the ocean anymore.  They just live their life and sometimes get reminded that they live in somebody else's paradise.  By leaving, that farm town will always be my paradise.

So I kept my license and it is still sitting on my dresser.  Every time I see it I think of a boy and his father  and the best day they ever had.

 

the Hunger...

I started very strong out of the gate with my "change your life in 30 days or you money back!" attitude but as i saw little bits of success here and there i sort of let off the throttle.  I dropped a quick 15 pounds, which is great but i want a total of about 30 and the 15 i lost just got me back to my "normal" of the last several years.  I have reasons for losing the weight.  Just not the motivation.  I am lump summing all my forward movement but by doing so I am allowing each "category" to slide.

 "Well I maybe am not losing as much as i want to but look at how many times i've hit the gym and i'm doing well financially so.... yeah.... I'm doing fine and yes, I'd like a large fry to go with that double bacon cheeseburger!"

I wish i could say i'm exaggerating but no.  I did run back to the waiting arms of my cheeseburger friend, but it was for just a quick visit.  I shan't be returning anytime too soon.

I did get a little advice though that i'm trying to work in my daily routine.  PLANNING.  Every morning while the coffee is brewing and the bagel is .... bageling? I will take pen and paper (old school analog data entry!) and jot down a a few things that need done or my attention AND focus on food a bit.  Just a written reminder to eat when i should and what i should.  Things like "in a hurry" don't qualify as a valid reason to hit a drive through or drain a bag of chips and with a little morning reminder maybe they will happen less and less.

I refer to my appetite as "the Hunger" and give it a personality and it drives me to feed... I kid about it but I also use it as an excuse....  from now on The Hunger is retired.  It's just a chemical reaction in my noodle, that's probably really just thirst,  so slow down.  Have a glass of H2O and think about what you NEED to eat, not what you want.  If you hang in there it will end up being the same thing.

Nothing says i can't visit my cheeseburger friends from time to time but I won't overstay my welcome for a change.

Now get back out there!

 

am I a Warrior?

Several months ago, when i was just at the beginning of feeling fat and lazy, I was looking for something to "train for" to motivate myself.  It seems that at that time, in my mind, all my dragons had been slain, all my windmills tilted and all my battles fought.  I was determined to find just one more reason to "fight."  I found my motivation (or so I thought) at www.warriordash.com.  It is the middle aged men's Fountain of Youth!  A "race" that is cross country, all terrain and freaking crazy!  It's not very long, i think they average about  4 miles or so but its the "up and down" and the "over and under" that will get you.  Think military obstacle course combined with a a few river crossings and mud pits.  It's over the top.  There is no winner or loser.  "Finishing is winning!!!!"   Your registration fee gets you 1) in the race.  2) a "viking" hat 3) a large "gold" medallion 4) a beer.  And it's just what i needed.... or so i thought.

I signed up, recruited a few friends to do the same and vowed that i would run it bare chested (due to my awesomeness and in shapeness) and it would be the beginning of "Race Me."  The Me that gets up at the crack of dawn to get a quick morning run in, and plans weekend runs to other towns with friends.  My car would be covered in bumper stickers like "26.2" "13.1" "runners like to do it outside" or some other silly shit.  I would be cool and skinny!  Two of my favorite things.... well... i guess i don't know if skinny is one of my fav's cause i have never tried it!

Anyway, as you all well know when i started this here blog i was wallowing in self pity and completely lazy.  Not that I'm a changed man but i have certainly made some nice steps toward changing a lot of bad habits.... other than putting things off.  Haven't really made a lot of progress on that one.  I looked at my calendar today and noticed i have exactly 30 days to get myself ready for "the Dash."  I may still run it bare chested but it will be more Chris Farley than Jack Lalanne.  I may opt for a nice dark shirt though... just saying.

So I have 30 days to get my self in some kind of shape.  Got my bike out today and am going on an organized ride tomorrow that should be about 26-30 miles but no real intensity.  That should get the old leg muscles warmed up! I am thinking of upping the protein intake just a touch to allow a little muscle growth (hopefully!) Also I am currently shopping for a 55 gallon drum of Advil.

I guess this is what i wanted the race to do.... I just wish i wasn't quite as busy now but being un-busy is what got me glued to the couch in the first place.  So I guess we'll see what kind of Warrior i am!

April showers bring fits of rage!

I really hate spring.  I get into arguments about this ALL the time.  "how can you hate spring?"  "it's when everything starts to grow and the weather gets nice!"

First off why is it that i must love spring?  I hate the constant rain.  I hate muddy shoes.  People hate the winter because of the weather.  It doesn't make them anti-Christmas or anti-holiday.  They just don't like the cold and the snow.  I completely recognize the awesomeness of of the spring.  Love is in the air, grass starts to grow, birds return to my bird feeder and with all those things comes the promise of summer.  Now that I'm down with.  But stop looking at me incredulously.  I really don't like rain and Spring brings all the rain.

Summer prep has begun.  I've stayed the course with controlling my eating/better choices and to date I've lost  just over 15 pounds.  I also started working out in the morning before work and am starting to feel pretty good!  I'm not frightened of a pair of swimming trunks in public anymore!

I have also cut the smoking down pretty substantially.  I easily smoked a carton a week (which is 10 packs a week for those keeping score at home) and have cut it down to 3-4 packs a week.  i haven't gotten to that "i'm done with these damn things!" yet but it's coming.  Currently i use a fake tobacco pouch type thing.  It's made with all kinds of stuff like licorice and cayenne pepper and mint.  It helps keep the "tobacco rage" in check.  I don't really know why it helps but it does.

So that's were we are thus far.  Feeling good, looking good (-ish!) and hating on the springtime rains.

Bo, Luke and me

Today i was taking advantage of the great weather and a day off by doing some errand running.  While out and about i was sitting at a traffic light, just gawking around amazed that grass was being cut and leaves were starting to bud when out of the corner of my eye I see it!  A utility type trailer (the kind that tilt for loading/unloading) making a perfect ramp.  I immediately flash back to 1979 and can almost hear the Dixie horn of the General Lee.  Light turns green, i floor it and tear ass right for the "ramp" and to make it even more perfect there was a cop coming the other way!  In my imagination, my jeep was a 1969 Dodge Charger racing towards freedom with that 426 Hemi roaring and rubber burning!  Awesome.

Now, obviously i didn't hit the ramp, nor did i engage the local police in a high speed chase.  I still can't shake it though.  I always wanted to be one of the "Duke Boys."  Still do.

 I know, I know..... it was a terrible show with unbelievable stunts and story lines.  If it was real life and the Dukes were your neighbors you would move!  Cops always there, the manufacture and distribution of moonshine, dynamite going off at all hours (dynamite?  Really?) and cars and trucks racing all around.  It would be TERRIBLE!  ugh... and that damn horn.  I bet  that thing would get old REAL quick if the Dukes lived in your hood.

All that being said, Bo and Luke helped give me a sense of right and wrong, standing up for what's right, a love of cars and a general distrust of the police.  I am kidding about the cops of course (mostly!) but that goofy, implausible, Smokey and the Bandit knock off did influence my young life and for that I am grateful.

I hope kids today have something like that.  Something that reinforces the good lessons your parents teach you.  Here's hoping!

Breaker, breaker - Buzzard to Lost Sheep, Buzzard to Lost Sheep!  Come in Lost Sheep!

early ain't so early anymore!

This week has been busy.  Not my usual kind of busy.  My usual kind of busy was sleeping in, wasting time online, going to a coffee shop or maybe throwing a round of frisbee golf then eating like an escaped prisoner until i passed out on the couch at about 4am.  for the last few years that has been my "busy."  no no... not anymore though!

I am officially employed.  I get up at about 6:30 everyday.  even on non work days i get up pretty early.  It's kind of odd for me to enjoy getting up.  even more odd is how much i enjoy going to bed!  I used to be like a nine year old on a school night.  Never tired and not wanting to go to bed... ever.  Now though i start thinking about going to bed MUCH earlier in the evening (like 4:30 some days!) and i don't fight it.  Also no naps unless absolutely necessary.

Overall i have converted into a morning person.  This is the equivalent of a vampire enjoying sunrises!  I never thought this would happen.  It's an honor just to be nominated.  I'd like to thank the fans and the academy for the honor!

ok.  off to bed.  I gots to get my ass outta bed early!  

My little brother is how old???

I can't believe it.  My little brother is celebrating his 39th today.... I really can't believe it.  If he's 39 then that makes me.... crap.

As the older brother i always tried to look out for him and protect him when necessary.  We don't have the same relationship a lot of brothers have.  We didn't grow up fighting, getting into trouble or telling on each other.  We were a team.  We were Batman and Robin.  Although we might be a little too old to fight crime with our beach towel capes I am pretty sure we could give it a good shot!

I'd like to share a few things I've learned from the little guy and some things i was proud to be to be there for.  First though, if you don't know me (if you're reading this odds are you do.... but) my brother has down's syndrome and has been the single most powerful influence in my life, I can't speak for the rest of my large and loud family but i think they would all agree.  The kid is charisma personified.  You just can't help but love him.

He grew up in a time when ignorance ruled.  People would walk by and stare or be afraid it might rub off.....  Damn it.....  As I  type this I am getting more and more angry......  Well this is about how much my brother has meant to me all these years and it has nothing to do with me hunting down all those simple minded assholes and kicking the shit out of them.  Even though they deserve it.  Actually that takes me to one of the things I wish i had in common with my brother.

He does not care what you think.  He treats EVERY single person nicely and politely and if for some reason they don't like him or are uncomfortable around him he just does what he does.  He was having a good day before he met you and he will continue to, no matter what kind of downer you are.   He couldn't be mean if he had to.  He has never been accused of being an ass.  His big brother on the other hand....

He was a pioneer.  Many of the programs for special needs children including schooling, education, health and even things like the Special Olympics my brother was in the genesis of these things.  I don't like being the first one in line at a roller coaster, let alone the first person to try something ever.   He was a part of history and none of us even knew it.  Maybe he did.

I love a good football game.  I've always been very competitive.  That being said, go to a Special Olympics sometime.  It will change your life, I know it did mine.  You have never seen "for the love of it" shown more clearly.  It will also make you feel pretty petty and selfish about your life, which is a good thing too.  You see these kids out there just loving what they are doing and helping each other.  They are proud to win but it is clearly not the point.  You see in them what you wish you could be.

My brother is not wishy washy in any way.  If you ask him what he wants, he will tell you.  Deciding what to eat or heaven forbid where to eat is an almost impossible task in my household of 2.  It's a bunch of  "well... what do you want?"  "I don't know.... what are you feeling like?" for what seems like hours then you just give up and go to the damn drive-thru.  Not my Bro.  He tells you.  Doesn't care what you want.  He might want that too but there is no hesitation in his opinions.  Wish i had a little more of that.

He is also hilarious.  One of my favorite stories is him and my parents were in the car and he asks my mom to hold something.  She does.   It was dark so she couldn't see it.  it was very small and unusual.  She then asks what is it and where did it come from?   He replied "it came from my nose" and then laughed for the rest of the trip.  I still laugh about that one.

I don't really have the words to express how awesome or charming he is and I am getting a lot of people asking me if I'm ok.  Apparently crying and typing in public is cause for some alarm!

He can bring you to tears, make you laugh or warm your heart in the blink of an eye.  He has lived life on his terms with no regrets.  He is my hero.

I may be taller but when it comes to life, you are Batman.

Your brother,

Robin

I'm just a boat....

In my internet "time wasting" i have tried to be more positive by looking up/researching motivational type things and tactics.  Now, I don't know if this is helpful in my quest to change four decades of bad habits (it's probably more like two decades.  I wasn't born with a cigarette craving!  Or was I?) but it has to be better than watching videos of people falling down or researching plans for the perfect zombie attack survival  shelter.....  which we all know that there is no "perfect" zombie shelter... jeez.

I found a quote that seemed to sink in.  I've always considered myself a boat out on the water with my sail up just waiting for the wind.  In other words with a push in the right direction my voyage begins.  Another way to look at it is that it is not MY fault I'm in this situation!  Blame it on the wind!   Anyway...

The quote i found:

 "A ship is safe in the harbor,  but that is not what a ship was built for." - William H Shedd.

I like it and will keep it in the vault to fight off the "Evil Me."

You can't pay your gas bill with it, but....

So I had a few great conversations with some friends and family members this week and it "out of the blue" dawned on me that i have great friends and people in my life.  Now yes, that is a great thing, but how terrible is it that it had to dawn on me?  Am I so caught up in the daily comings and goings of my life that i don't realize that i am literally surrounded by awesome people?  Unfortunately the answer must be yes.

I realize it is a sign of the times.  We (i assume you people as well but maybe not, no offense intended!)  don't reach out to the ones close to us and over commit to people we hardly know.  Being a friend used to be about hanging out, having something in common or even just living in the same neighborhood, now it's just a button you click.  Now you collect "friends" like baseball cards and he(or she) who has the most is by default the most popular.  Most of these friends you have never met and never will and the only interaction you will ever have is clicking on a "like" button or declining to go to one of the endless events your inbox is flooded with.  Btw not everything in your virtual life is an "event" so stop inviting me!

I used to call my friends to do something.  That was pretty much it.  No event or reservation needed.  I had 8-10 real friends and life was pretty good.  My virtual self has hundreds of strangers who have liked my "profile" but wouldn't recognize me or say hello to me if we ran into each other on the street....

The funny thing is, I still have 8-10 real friends, and every time i get to see or talk to them I am reminded as to why i call them friends.  I actually LIKE them!  I don't have to click any buttons or join any events either!  They are the people I know i can count on, they are who i call when faced with a problem or to share news good or bad.  Somehow my family fits in that category too!  I know many people who have little to no relationship with family members and i should realize how lucky i am.

It turns out i am a very wealthy man.  Not the kind of wealth that gets you a mansion on the hill and a ferrari in the driveway but it is the best kind of wealth.  It doesn't rely on a stock market or an interest rate.  I am friend rich and i rely on them.

sleeping in day! nope.... not really.

So i have now adjusted to the awesomeness of seeing the daylight when it's brand new.  Usually i get to see the sun after it's been out for a few... ok... more like five hours and it's kind of like showing up late for dinner.  It's good and you're glad you are there to enjoy it but.... you know it was so much better served fresh outta the oven/grill/kettle/pizza box/french fry bag.  So it has made my morning commute much more tolerable getting to see the sun brand new.  I ALSO get to listen to morning radio DJ zaniness, get to test my breaks (from the sudden stops on the freeway!) and enjoy fresh home brewed coffee!  A brand new sun and all that other stuff which is like gravy on the potatoes???  Totally kick ass!   It's hard to type sarcasm so i hope you are picking up on that.

This weeks basic goals were to just "keep on keeping on" and stay the course.  I have done that but what has really set in is how much i don't really work that much.  I'm a tad disgusted with how lazy i am....

I put things off, avoid doing them or just plain blow them off.  I have acted like I'm allergic to getting things done.  It's not hard stuff, just easier to let it go.  Whatever "IT" is that's in your life that needs to be addressed, address it.  I know it's easier, or at least you think it's easier, but it is not.  Trust me.  I have been dodging and ducking responsibility for a long time and in the short time i've been "facing the music" it has felt good.  Like something, no matter how small, is moving forward.  It's a good feeling.  One that i'm not used too.  One that i would like to get used too.  I know i'm wandering a bit off subject but frankly don't care (write your own damn blog!)   What i have sort of stumbled upon is the more you get your shit together, the more you WANT to get your shit together.  It's strange.  I have some things that have been hanging over me for years that i never felt the need to take care of.   Now i have an almost compulsion to get to these things and start checking them off.  I have attacked in the last two weeks three big things, i actually got up early today so i could get to them.  I'm telling you, i almost don't recognize the guy in the mirror which is ok.  Actually the guy in the mirror is looking pretty good... and maybe a touch younger too!

So now that i'm getting used to getting up early, I'm going to get used to getting things done early too.  Look out cel phone bill!  You are about to be paid BEFORE you're due!

one week down...

This has been a busy week for me.  I started my part time job monday, started watching my food and continued working my night gig AND started taking Karate!  As it turns out busy is good for me.  I'm down almost 9 lb's, made pretty good money for the week and also got a few other things that have been hanging over me for months.  I have noticed that the busier i get the more i HAVE to plan out my day.  Interesting.  I still say the early rising crap is over rated BUT you do get a whole bunch of stuff done (the sitting in traffic is kinda ridiculous but whatever...)

next weeks goal is more of the same.  Settle in, do the work and be more organized.  I am very pleased with week one but must not get too caught up in it and buy my own hype then spin wildly off the track.

one week down, a million to go.

Sprang forward

Today is, historically speaking, one of my most hated days in all of the year.  Daylight savings time "spring forward."  arrrgh..... I have enough trouble waking at a reasonable hour but then take one away and then i'm really up the creek.  Needless to say the only one in our house who likes it is the cat.  He gets fed one hr early and he thinks he has tricked us into it, so for him, it's win win.

This week has been full of little victories.  "Spring fwd" aside i have adjusted to being an early riser.  I gotta tell ya, if you early risers ever gave sleeping in a try you might be REALLY impressed.... seriously.  Also on tap for this week was to get a handle on what and how much I eat.

That's why I worked so hard on  the early rising.  It's better than working on food i.e. reducing intake or restricting favorites and that is.... well.... in a nutshell... that's my problem.  I eat a lot and i like "bad stuff."  Anytime in the past that i was like "OK world!!! You have seen me eat my LAST CHEESEBURGER!!!!" and then like 3 to 5 days later.... actually it's not a time issue... get this, this is what always sends me "off my diet."  If more than 2 people in one day comment in a positive way on my appearance "looking good" "have you lost a few pounds?" Anything like that and I IMMEDIATELY reward myself with something ridiculous like a buffet of all my favorites.  Now when i say buffet let me explain.  I will order a pizza then in the 25-35 minutes to pick it up i'll drive to all of my favorite eateries, get my favorite item from said eateries and THEN pick up the pizza.  Come home and lay out a buffet of superbowl party proportions and literally eat myself sick.  Why do i do this?   I deserve it!  A couple people were polite to me!  A meal of 5-7 thousand calories sounds about right then doesn't it?   Jeez....

What I'm shooting for here is just making a habit of NOT over eating.  I can still have a cheeseburger from time to time but it is not a "reward system" to be exploited.  If i have to have one, if it's driving me crazy then go ahead.  I just need to remember there is a price to that burger.

I'm a few days in and feel good, but I've been here before.  This is something i want.  So like everything else I want, it's time to figure out how to get it.

Consider me sprang.

Fat Tuesday, Fat Wednesday and looks like still Fat Thursday

This weeks real goal was to become an early riser.  Through much research and internet readings I formulated a plan.  The one common thread in all the articles and blogs i read was: no matter what, get up.  well... duh!  I read all of this stuff to boil it all down to "get up?"  Sweet.  At least I'm not still wasting time on the net!!!

The other side of these articles was, in a nutshell, my real problem is I go to bed too late so the only way to get tired enough to go to sleep earlier is to be tired thus getting up earlier will be more.... plausible.

So with a brain full of common sense and farm wisdom i did just that.  I have been getting up earlier and earlier and the result is going to bed MUCH earlier.  Over the last several years i have an average bed time (ABT) of 330am  usually up by 1030am.  this week up at 700am and ABT 1200am.  I'm not bragging, i know lots of people (actually most the people i know) who that is a regular wake up time.  I don't think i deserve a medal or anything.... although a medal would be nice!

On top of the early rise i have been working on breakfast.  I hear its a relatively important meal (top three at least!) and drinking lots of water in the morning.  this has been good.  It feels like a good start to balancing out my eating patterns.  this coming week the tightening of the meals start.  Not going crazy but just whole foods, reasonable portions and a tiny bit of will power.  Here's hoping i have finally turned a corner.

going to the gym now.

elastic waste bands and double XL hoodies

Sooooo.... the real reason i started this blog is to basically journal my struggle with food and weight.  I will always veer off the path and do some goofy commentary (basically the only person who will read this is my mom so i might as well make it interesting!) but being accountable, even if its just to this stupid blog, is a start.  So here we go:

First off this isn't some "woe is me" "it's not my fault" kinda deals.  The real truth is it is 100% my "fault" that i'm packing on more lb's than i want to.  It's simple: calories in and out.  Bring more in than you need and your body saves it for a rainy day.  Let me tell ya, we are looking at a biblical  40 days and nights caliber rainstorm to use up my "savings!"

My real goal here is not to just lose some pounds.  I've done that so many times it's ridiculous.  No, what I'm trying to do is make some changes in my life.  How I treat my body being just one aspect of those changes.  On top of having a full on love affair with cheeseburgers i also smoke like a freight train which is, you know.... awesome.  Way to make good choices.  Oh yeah!  I'm also kinda lazy.  So all of these things combined some 40 years later I'm overweight, outta shape and sort of directionless in life.  Again, this isn't a bitchy whiny kinda thing.  I did this and now it's time to undo this.  I realize it will not be easy, it's uphill and it's about damn time.

So, in closing:  Cheeseburgers less often.  Fruits and Vegetables more often.  Get off my ass and do something.

I've had worse plans.

ps.  Hi Mom!

I might have magic powers...

So i have been trying to waste less and less time on the internet.  It's hard though.  It is the way of modern life.  It's how we now communicate.  I can't remember the last time i received an actual letter.  It's sad really.  The mail showing up used to be special.  You never knew who you would hear from or what you might get (like the x-ray specs you ordered from the back of a comic book!) but now all you get is bills and maybe netfix.  Not really exciting.  But i digress, what i was getting at in my "not wasting time on the internet" thing is i found a new way to waste time on the internet!  You start by going to www.stumbleupon.com and its really cool. It just brings up pages based on a short profile that fit your interests.  If you have 20 minutes to burn it is pretty cool (not to say you can't waste all day and into the wee hours of the morning "stumbling"... or a couple days straight)  ANYWAY... today i stumbled on a recipe for "homemade microwave potato chips."  Say what????  I know!!! So i HAD to try it.  I was extremely doubtful (i have never seen anything come out of the microwave crunchy) but moved forward with diligence and low and behold:  I made crunchy almost store-bought-in-a-bag crunchy chips in a friggin microwave.  I am a wizard!  Take THAT Hogwarts!!  It took me four tries but i got it (it's actually quite easy, just google it and you'll find about a million recipes) and that was todays little victory.  Yay me.

Geeet tooo da CHOPPA!

So this morning, as promised, i was better.  I got up nice and early (we are talking baby steps here!), went to the Arnold (I'll explain what that is), went and got a job (wait.... I did what?) and had a delicious cheeseburger. Other than the cheeseburger those were all things i wouldn't normally do so i'll call it a successful day 1.

Now... The Arnold Sports Classic or as it's known as in Columbus, Ohio: The Arnold.  It's a HUGE event hosted by Arnold Schwarzenegger.  It takes up several buildings, arenas and every hotel in the tri-county area.  I mean huge.  It is (i believe) one of the largest sporting events in the world.  All different types of sports from body building (duh!) to gymnastics to martial arts and so on and so on....  Legend has it that there are over three times as many competing athletes as the olympics.  Mr. Schwarzenegger is always in attendance and addresses the the huge crowd at the closing ceremony.  I know i keep saying huge but it can't be stressed enough how freaking big this thing and it's attendees are.

I'm not a little guy.  I can tell you exactly how not little (I had the foresight to weigh myself this morning just in case this came up) 231lbs and at 5'11" (I did not measure my height this morning but feel very confidant that number has not changed) I'm relatively large, I mean, that's what my t-shirt says.  Actually it says "extra" just in case i was on the fence about my largeness...  However, compared to my fellow guests at the Arnold i was a very little man.  These guys (and gals!) had arms like my legs, legs like the big oak trees at the park and delts like wings off a friggin 747!  Never in my life had i wished that i owned a spray on tan salon.... until this morning that is!

All kidding aside, it's easy to poke fun at something you don't understand or don't "get" so i won't.  One look at my gut and pasty midwestern winter tan and i'm sure i was the one they were rolling their eyes at and blogging about: "Can you believe that one fat guy???  I mean, yeah, he was extremely handsome, but no muscle tone, no respect for his body and he even smelled like cigarette smoke!  What a weird-o."

So, that being said, I might not get what makes a body builder do what they do but i DO get that it takes an unbelievable level of dedication and commitment to mold and transform your body into an Adonis.  I was celebrating that i got up early.  For a one day streak.  Just early, no work out or food prep.  Just early.  My hat is off to you, my new friends (we're not really friends.... they don't like all my bad habits and they think I'm a bad influence) I don't get it, but it is awesome!

Ok... I've rambled enough.   As Arnold would say "Geet to the CHOPPA!"

tomorrow... i'll do better tomorrow.

I always end the day with the highest hopes for tomorrow.  I hope that I'll wake up and be.... well... me... only not as... well... me.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not whining about my life, quite the contrary really.  I have a wonderful family, people who i love and people who love me.  I've lived life without a parachute and let me tell you.... it has been fun.  But.  there is always a "but."  I have always just coasted through life.  Doing enough to get by but not really pushing the envelope.  That is the part of me I'd like to see fade a bit, hell, maybe go away completely....

Anyway, after a very real discussion with my Love, i decided that tomorrow i would be better.  Not just some blind wish but rather, a plan of action.  A time to stand up.

I will do better tomorrow.