I really hate spring. I get into arguments about this ALL the time. "how can you hate spring?" "it's when everything starts to grow and the weather gets nice!"
First off why is it that i must love spring? I hate the constant rain. I hate muddy shoes. People hate the winter because of the weather. It doesn't make them anti-Christmas or anti-holiday. They just don't like the cold and the snow. I completely recognize the awesomeness of of the spring. Love is in the air, grass starts to grow, birds return to my bird feeder and with all those things comes the promise of summer. Now that I'm down with. But stop looking at me incredulously. I really don't like rain and Spring brings all the rain.
Summer prep has begun. I've stayed the course with controlling my eating/better choices and to date I've lost just over 15 pounds. I also started working out in the morning before work and am starting to feel pretty good! I'm not frightened of a pair of swimming trunks in public anymore!
I have also cut the smoking down pretty substantially. I easily smoked a carton a week (which is 10 packs a week for those keeping score at home) and have cut it down to 3-4 packs a week. i haven't gotten to that "i'm done with these damn things!" yet but it's coming. Currently i use a fake tobacco pouch type thing. It's made with all kinds of stuff like licorice and cayenne pepper and mint. It helps keep the "tobacco rage" in check. I don't really know why it helps but it does.
So that's were we are thus far. Feeling good, looking good (-ish!) and hating on the springtime rains.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
Bo, Luke and me
Today i was taking advantage of the great weather and a day off by doing some errand running. While out and about i was sitting at a traffic light, just gawking around amazed that grass was being cut and leaves were starting to bud when out of the corner of my eye I see it! A utility type trailer (the kind that tilt for loading/unloading) making a perfect ramp. I immediately flash back to 1979 and can almost hear the Dixie horn of the General Lee. Light turns green, i floor it and tear ass right for the "ramp" and to make it even more perfect there was a cop coming the other way! In my imagination, my jeep was a 1969 Dodge Charger racing towards freedom with that 426 Hemi roaring and rubber burning! Awesome.
Now, obviously i didn't hit the ramp, nor did i engage the local police in a high speed chase. I still can't shake it though. I always wanted to be one of the "Duke Boys." Still do.
I know, I know..... it was a terrible show with unbelievable stunts and story lines. If it was real life and the Dukes were your neighbors you would move! Cops always there, the manufacture and distribution of moonshine, dynamite going off at all hours (dynamite? Really?) and cars and trucks racing all around. It would be TERRIBLE! ugh... and that damn horn. I bet that thing would get old REAL quick if the Dukes lived in your hood.
All that being said, Bo and Luke helped give me a sense of right and wrong, standing up for what's right, a love of cars and a general distrust of the police. I am kidding about the cops of course (mostly!) but that goofy, implausible, Smokey and the Bandit knock off did influence my young life and for that I am grateful.
I hope kids today have something like that. Something that reinforces the good lessons your parents teach you. Here's hoping!
Breaker, breaker - Buzzard to Lost Sheep, Buzzard to Lost Sheep! Come in Lost Sheep!
Now, obviously i didn't hit the ramp, nor did i engage the local police in a high speed chase. I still can't shake it though. I always wanted to be one of the "Duke Boys." Still do.
I know, I know..... it was a terrible show with unbelievable stunts and story lines. If it was real life and the Dukes were your neighbors you would move! Cops always there, the manufacture and distribution of moonshine, dynamite going off at all hours (dynamite? Really?) and cars and trucks racing all around. It would be TERRIBLE! ugh... and that damn horn. I bet that thing would get old REAL quick if the Dukes lived in your hood.
All that being said, Bo and Luke helped give me a sense of right and wrong, standing up for what's right, a love of cars and a general distrust of the police. I am kidding about the cops of course (mostly!) but that goofy, implausible, Smokey and the Bandit knock off did influence my young life and for that I am grateful.
I hope kids today have something like that. Something that reinforces the good lessons your parents teach you. Here's hoping!
Breaker, breaker - Buzzard to Lost Sheep, Buzzard to Lost Sheep! Come in Lost Sheep!
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
early ain't so early anymore!
This week has been busy. Not my usual kind of busy. My usual kind of busy was sleeping in, wasting time online, going to a coffee shop or maybe throwing a round of frisbee golf then eating like an escaped prisoner until i passed out on the couch at about 4am. for the last few years that has been my "busy." no no... not anymore though!
I am officially employed. I get up at about 6:30 everyday. even on non work days i get up pretty early. It's kind of odd for me to enjoy getting up. even more odd is how much i enjoy going to bed! I used to be like a nine year old on a school night. Never tired and not wanting to go to bed... ever. Now though i start thinking about going to bed MUCH earlier in the evening (like 4:30 some days!) and i don't fight it. Also no naps unless absolutely necessary.
Overall i have converted into a morning person. This is the equivalent of a vampire enjoying sunrises! I never thought this would happen. It's an honor just to be nominated. I'd like to thank the fans and the academy for the honor!
ok. off to bed. I gots to get my ass outta bed early!
I am officially employed. I get up at about 6:30 everyday. even on non work days i get up pretty early. It's kind of odd for me to enjoy getting up. even more odd is how much i enjoy going to bed! I used to be like a nine year old on a school night. Never tired and not wanting to go to bed... ever. Now though i start thinking about going to bed MUCH earlier in the evening (like 4:30 some days!) and i don't fight it. Also no naps unless absolutely necessary.
Overall i have converted into a morning person. This is the equivalent of a vampire enjoying sunrises! I never thought this would happen. It's an honor just to be nominated. I'd like to thank the fans and the academy for the honor!
ok. off to bed. I gots to get my ass outta bed early!
Friday, April 1, 2011
My little brother is how old???
I can't believe it. My little brother is celebrating his 39th today.... I really can't believe it. If he's 39 then that makes me.... crap.
As the older brother i always tried to look out for him and protect him when necessary. We don't have the same relationship a lot of brothers have. We didn't grow up fighting, getting into trouble or telling on each other. We were a team. We were Batman and Robin. Although we might be a little too old to fight crime with our beach towel capes I am pretty sure we could give it a good shot!
I'd like to share a few things I've learned from the little guy and some things i was proud to be to be there for. First though, if you don't know me (if you're reading this odds are you do.... but) my brother has down's syndrome and has been the single most powerful influence in my life, I can't speak for the rest of my large and loud family but i think they would all agree. The kid is charisma personified. You just can't help but love him.
He grew up in a time when ignorance ruled. People would walk by and stare or be afraid it might rub off..... Damn it..... As I type this I am getting more and more angry...... Well this is about how much my brother has meant to me all these years and it has nothing to do with me hunting down all those simple minded assholes and kicking the shit out of them. Even though they deserve it. Actually that takes me to one of the things I wish i had in common with my brother.
He does not care what you think. He treats EVERY single person nicely and politely and if for some reason they don't like him or are uncomfortable around him he just does what he does. He was having a good day before he met you and he will continue to, no matter what kind of downer you are. He couldn't be mean if he had to. He has never been accused of being an ass. His big brother on the other hand....
He was a pioneer. Many of the programs for special needs children including schooling, education, health and even things like the Special Olympics my brother was in the genesis of these things. I don't like being the first one in line at a roller coaster, let alone the first person to try something ever. He was a part of history and none of us even knew it. Maybe he did.
I love a good football game. I've always been very competitive. That being said, go to a Special Olympics sometime. It will change your life, I know it did mine. You have never seen "for the love of it" shown more clearly. It will also make you feel pretty petty and selfish about your life, which is a good thing too. You see these kids out there just loving what they are doing and helping each other. They are proud to win but it is clearly not the point. You see in them what you wish you could be.
My brother is not wishy washy in any way. If you ask him what he wants, he will tell you. Deciding what to eat or heaven forbid where to eat is an almost impossible task in my household of 2. It's a bunch of "well... what do you want?" "I don't know.... what are you feeling like?" for what seems like hours then you just give up and go to the damn drive-thru. Not my Bro. He tells you. Doesn't care what you want. He might want that too but there is no hesitation in his opinions. Wish i had a little more of that.
He is also hilarious. One of my favorite stories is him and my parents were in the car and he asks my mom to hold something. She does. It was dark so she couldn't see it. it was very small and unusual. She then asks what is it and where did it come from? He replied "it came from my nose" and then laughed for the rest of the trip. I still laugh about that one.
I don't really have the words to express how awesome or charming he is and I am getting a lot of people asking me if I'm ok. Apparently crying and typing in public is cause for some alarm!
He can bring you to tears, make you laugh or warm your heart in the blink of an eye. He has lived life on his terms with no regrets. He is my hero.
I may be taller but when it comes to life, you are Batman.
Your brother,
Robin
As the older brother i always tried to look out for him and protect him when necessary. We don't have the same relationship a lot of brothers have. We didn't grow up fighting, getting into trouble or telling on each other. We were a team. We were Batman and Robin. Although we might be a little too old to fight crime with our beach towel capes I am pretty sure we could give it a good shot!
I'd like to share a few things I've learned from the little guy and some things i was proud to be to be there for. First though, if you don't know me (if you're reading this odds are you do.... but) my brother has down's syndrome and has been the single most powerful influence in my life, I can't speak for the rest of my large and loud family but i think they would all agree. The kid is charisma personified. You just can't help but love him.
He grew up in a time when ignorance ruled. People would walk by and stare or be afraid it might rub off..... Damn it..... As I type this I am getting more and more angry...... Well this is about how much my brother has meant to me all these years and it has nothing to do with me hunting down all those simple minded assholes and kicking the shit out of them. Even though they deserve it. Actually that takes me to one of the things I wish i had in common with my brother.
He does not care what you think. He treats EVERY single person nicely and politely and if for some reason they don't like him or are uncomfortable around him he just does what he does. He was having a good day before he met you and he will continue to, no matter what kind of downer you are. He couldn't be mean if he had to. He has never been accused of being an ass. His big brother on the other hand....
He was a pioneer. Many of the programs for special needs children including schooling, education, health and even things like the Special Olympics my brother was in the genesis of these things. I don't like being the first one in line at a roller coaster, let alone the first person to try something ever. He was a part of history and none of us even knew it. Maybe he did.
I love a good football game. I've always been very competitive. That being said, go to a Special Olympics sometime. It will change your life, I know it did mine. You have never seen "for the love of it" shown more clearly. It will also make you feel pretty petty and selfish about your life, which is a good thing too. You see these kids out there just loving what they are doing and helping each other. They are proud to win but it is clearly not the point. You see in them what you wish you could be.
My brother is not wishy washy in any way. If you ask him what he wants, he will tell you. Deciding what to eat or heaven forbid where to eat is an almost impossible task in my household of 2. It's a bunch of "well... what do you want?" "I don't know.... what are you feeling like?" for what seems like hours then you just give up and go to the damn drive-thru. Not my Bro. He tells you. Doesn't care what you want. He might want that too but there is no hesitation in his opinions. Wish i had a little more of that.
He is also hilarious. One of my favorite stories is him and my parents were in the car and he asks my mom to hold something. She does. It was dark so she couldn't see it. it was very small and unusual. She then asks what is it and where did it come from? He replied "it came from my nose" and then laughed for the rest of the trip. I still laugh about that one.
I don't really have the words to express how awesome or charming he is and I am getting a lot of people asking me if I'm ok. Apparently crying and typing in public is cause for some alarm!
He can bring you to tears, make you laugh or warm your heart in the blink of an eye. He has lived life on his terms with no regrets. He is my hero.
I may be taller but when it comes to life, you are Batman.
Your brother,
Robin
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
I'm just a boat....
In my internet "time wasting" i have tried to be more positive by looking up/researching motivational type things and tactics. Now, I don't know if this is helpful in my quest to change four decades of bad habits (it's probably more like two decades. I wasn't born with a cigarette craving! Or was I?) but it has to be better than watching videos of people falling down or researching plans for the perfect zombie attack survival shelter..... which we all know that there is no "perfect" zombie shelter... jeez.
I found a quote that seemed to sink in. I've always considered myself a boat out on the water with my sail up just waiting for the wind. In other words with a push in the right direction my voyage begins. Another way to look at it is that it is not MY fault I'm in this situation! Blame it on the wind! Anyway...
The quote i found:
"A ship is safe in the harbor, but that is not what a ship was built for." - William H Shedd.
I like it and will keep it in the vault to fight off the "Evil Me."
I found a quote that seemed to sink in. I've always considered myself a boat out on the water with my sail up just waiting for the wind. In other words with a push in the right direction my voyage begins. Another way to look at it is that it is not MY fault I'm in this situation! Blame it on the wind! Anyway...
The quote i found:
"A ship is safe in the harbor, but that is not what a ship was built for." - William H Shedd.
I like it and will keep it in the vault to fight off the "Evil Me."
Saturday, March 26, 2011
You can't pay your gas bill with it, but....
So I had a few great conversations with some friends and family members this week and it "out of the blue" dawned on me that i have great friends and people in my life. Now yes, that is a great thing, but how terrible is it that it had to dawn on me? Am I so caught up in the daily comings and goings of my life that i don't realize that i am literally surrounded by awesome people? Unfortunately the answer must be yes.
I realize it is a sign of the times. We (i assume you people as well but maybe not, no offense intended!) don't reach out to the ones close to us and over commit to people we hardly know. Being a friend used to be about hanging out, having something in common or even just living in the same neighborhood, now it's just a button you click. Now you collect "friends" like baseball cards and he(or she) who has the most is by default the most popular. Most of these friends you have never met and never will and the only interaction you will ever have is clicking on a "like" button or declining to go to one of the endless events your inbox is flooded with. Btw not everything in your virtual life is an "event" so stop inviting me!
I used to call my friends to do something. That was pretty much it. No event or reservation needed. I had 8-10 real friends and life was pretty good. My virtual self has hundreds of strangers who have liked my "profile" but wouldn't recognize me or say hello to me if we ran into each other on the street....
The funny thing is, I still have 8-10 real friends, and every time i get to see or talk to them I am reminded as to why i call them friends. I actually LIKE them! I don't have to click any buttons or join any events either! They are the people I know i can count on, they are who i call when faced with a problem or to share news good or bad. Somehow my family fits in that category too! I know many people who have little to no relationship with family members and i should realize how lucky i am.
It turns out i am a very wealthy man. Not the kind of wealth that gets you a mansion on the hill and a ferrari in the driveway but it is the best kind of wealth. It doesn't rely on a stock market or an interest rate. I am friend rich and i rely on them.
I realize it is a sign of the times. We (i assume you people as well but maybe not, no offense intended!) don't reach out to the ones close to us and over commit to people we hardly know. Being a friend used to be about hanging out, having something in common or even just living in the same neighborhood, now it's just a button you click. Now you collect "friends" like baseball cards and he(or she) who has the most is by default the most popular. Most of these friends you have never met and never will and the only interaction you will ever have is clicking on a "like" button or declining to go to one of the endless events your inbox is flooded with. Btw not everything in your virtual life is an "event" so stop inviting me!
I used to call my friends to do something. That was pretty much it. No event or reservation needed. I had 8-10 real friends and life was pretty good. My virtual self has hundreds of strangers who have liked my "profile" but wouldn't recognize me or say hello to me if we ran into each other on the street....
The funny thing is, I still have 8-10 real friends, and every time i get to see or talk to them I am reminded as to why i call them friends. I actually LIKE them! I don't have to click any buttons or join any events either! They are the people I know i can count on, they are who i call when faced with a problem or to share news good or bad. Somehow my family fits in that category too! I know many people who have little to no relationship with family members and i should realize how lucky i am.
It turns out i am a very wealthy man. Not the kind of wealth that gets you a mansion on the hill and a ferrari in the driveway but it is the best kind of wealth. It doesn't rely on a stock market or an interest rate. I am friend rich and i rely on them.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
sleeping in day! nope.... not really.
So i have now adjusted to the awesomeness of seeing the daylight when it's brand new. Usually i get to see the sun after it's been out for a few... ok... more like five hours and it's kind of like showing up late for dinner. It's good and you're glad you are there to enjoy it but.... you know it was so much better served fresh outta the oven/grill/kettle/pizza box/french fry bag. So it has made my morning commute much more tolerable getting to see the sun brand new. I ALSO get to listen to morning radio DJ zaniness, get to test my breaks (from the sudden stops on the freeway!) and enjoy fresh home brewed coffee! A brand new sun and all that other stuff which is like gravy on the potatoes??? Totally kick ass! It's hard to type sarcasm so i hope you are picking up on that.
This weeks basic goals were to just "keep on keeping on" and stay the course. I have done that but what has really set in is how much i don't really work that much. I'm a tad disgusted with how lazy i am....
I put things off, avoid doing them or just plain blow them off. I have acted like I'm allergic to getting things done. It's not hard stuff, just easier to let it go. Whatever "IT" is that's in your life that needs to be addressed, address it. I know it's easier, or at least you think it's easier, but it is not. Trust me. I have been dodging and ducking responsibility for a long time and in the short time i've been "facing the music" it has felt good. Like something, no matter how small, is moving forward. It's a good feeling. One that i'm not used too. One that i would like to get used too. I know i'm wandering a bit off subject but frankly don't care (write your own damn blog!) What i have sort of stumbled upon is the more you get your shit together, the more you WANT to get your shit together. It's strange. I have some things that have been hanging over me for years that i never felt the need to take care of. Now i have an almost compulsion to get to these things and start checking them off. I have attacked in the last two weeks three big things, i actually got up early today so i could get to them. I'm telling you, i almost don't recognize the guy in the mirror which is ok. Actually the guy in the mirror is looking pretty good... and maybe a touch younger too!
So now that i'm getting used to getting up early, I'm going to get used to getting things done early too. Look out cel phone bill! You are about to be paid BEFORE you're due!
This weeks basic goals were to just "keep on keeping on" and stay the course. I have done that but what has really set in is how much i don't really work that much. I'm a tad disgusted with how lazy i am....
I put things off, avoid doing them or just plain blow them off. I have acted like I'm allergic to getting things done. It's not hard stuff, just easier to let it go. Whatever "IT" is that's in your life that needs to be addressed, address it. I know it's easier, or at least you think it's easier, but it is not. Trust me. I have been dodging and ducking responsibility for a long time and in the short time i've been "facing the music" it has felt good. Like something, no matter how small, is moving forward. It's a good feeling. One that i'm not used too. One that i would like to get used too. I know i'm wandering a bit off subject but frankly don't care (write your own damn blog!) What i have sort of stumbled upon is the more you get your shit together, the more you WANT to get your shit together. It's strange. I have some things that have been hanging over me for years that i never felt the need to take care of. Now i have an almost compulsion to get to these things and start checking them off. I have attacked in the last two weeks three big things, i actually got up early today so i could get to them. I'm telling you, i almost don't recognize the guy in the mirror which is ok. Actually the guy in the mirror is looking pretty good... and maybe a touch younger too!
So now that i'm getting used to getting up early, I'm going to get used to getting things done early too. Look out cel phone bill! You are about to be paid BEFORE you're due!
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